3 Steps To Redefine Aging

You wake up in the morning and can’t wait to get started with your day. You get out of bed and oh-h-h, when did that joint start to hurt? Every day is a new adventure as we get older. We begin to notice pain in places we didn’t know we had.

Once we hit 50 we begin to look at life differently. Some of us leave our jobs earlier to take advantage of better health in the years to come. There are so many dreams they want to fulfill they figure “why wait?”. Others decide to stay in the work force just for something to do, assuming they will get around to the things they’ve looked forward to, just not right now.

It’s all in the way we look at life. And the way we view getting older makes a huge difference in the way we respond to life after we retire. Having the right mindset can prepare us for a smoother transition and a more enjoyable journey as we head down the road. Let’s look at three attitude shifts that can make an immediate difference in our day to day outlook.

1. BE COUNTER-CULTURAL

I attended a party at a friends home recently. As I was adding my contribution to the ever growing mountain of food on the table, I started chatting with an older couple I didn’t know. The man was talking about how this party was going to keep him up past his bedtime. “When you get to be as old as me you need your sleep”, he said. Those gathered around the table started to laugh. As we talked more, I marveled at how comfortable he seemed to be with his age.

That incident got me thinking. Can speaking your truth by using unpopular terms like: “getting older” or “as old as me”, begin to melt away the fear associated with aging? Maybe this guy was on to something the rest of us try to ignore. Our society seems to avoid the mention of aging, even as we all are. There seemed to be a break in the tension in the room that night once he started talking about it. Maybe that is the key.

Could speaking the truth by using the words take the fear out of the process? Perhaps the very use of the words, as that man had courage to do, empowers us to live in our own truth. It takes a lot of energy to pretend something isn’t so. Maybe a better approach would be to look life right in the eyes and show others we are not afraid of our age.

2. REFUSE TO GIVE UP

I was in an automobile accident years ago and suffered a life changing head injury in which I lost months of my life. I became totally dependent on my family, tasting infirmity far before my time. I have never been the same since. My family gets gold stars for the care they showered on me.

In the midst of it all, I realized I had a choice in how I looked at this. I chose to see it as an opportunity for growth. The lessons were many: humility, acceptance, patience, but mostly perseverance. When you lose pieces of yourself you have to find new ways of putting yourself back together again. This takes a lot of work, but it was the most meaningful work I’ve ever accomplished.

Through this I learned the importance of keeping “Can Do “ people in my circle of friends. They kept me focused and were a source of strength during my down days, of which there were many. You have them in your life too. You know who they are. They are the ones who make lemon drop martinis out of lemons.

3. BE A RISK TAKER

We can reawaken our spirit of adventure by doing things out of our comfort zones. By stretching our minds to be open to new possibilities and resetting goals for ourselves, we can accomplish things we never thought we could. As we get older, the trick is in breaking larger goals into smaller chunks.

I knew a man, who in his new found freedom of retirement began to revisit an old dream of competing in a marathon. Jim had been jogging for years; short 2-3 mile runs to stay in shape. He wasn’t sure if at 56 it was wise to pursue such a grandiose goal. He wondered if his time had passed for punishing his body in this way. Jim thought about this for so long he wasn’t willing to give up on his dream. He loved to run and decided to go for it. What Jim discovered that made it work for him, was the idea of thinking smaller.

Someone mentioned the option of doing a half-marathon. In all his enthusiasm for making the decision, this had never occurred to him. It was the perfect answer to his dilemma. He could accomplish his dream without pushing himself too hard. He was sure he had the stamina to do the half. He had secretly wondered if he would be able to complete the full marathon. Right then he switched his mental gears to what he thought was realistically a more attainable goal. That one piece of information made all the difference for Jim.

So stretch yourself. Experience new things. It’s not to late until you stop breathing to make changes. If you’ve dreamed of continuing your education or traveling, do it now. It may be difficult heading back into a classroom or making itineraries, but keep your goal in front of you, whatever it is. Dreams remain dreams until we take steps to manifest them. So go for your dreams. Try new things. At the end of your life you will have great memories of the things you’ve done. Don’t have regrets about the things you never had the courage to try.

Nancy Montani is a Spiritual Director, Life and Retirement Coach and owns Holistic Retirement Living which takes a Body, Mind and Spirit approach to health and wellness in retirement. She is presently writing a book on women and retirement, and welcomes comments and life success stories on her blog. Reach her at: http://womenneverretire.blogspot.com

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